Preds Playoff Beard Rules

THE TEN RULES TO GROWING A PLAYOFF BEARD

via blog.molson.com

Here is an updated version of http://www.doubtaboutit.com/2008/04/guide-to-playoff-beard.html Playoff Beard Rules. Adjusted to fit PREDS!

1. You don’t have to commit to the beard, just do something else that is a ritual. Maybe you set your alarm clock to 9:18 (Dupuis : Hossa) everyday. I don’t care what, just do something.

2.  Once you commit, you commit. No shaving because it gets hot in June or your parents want you to for graduation or work or anything like that. Once you’re in, you’re in. Don’t mess things up for the Preds now. I am sure that some loser shaved his beard causing Alexander Radulov to slam Jason Arnott into the glass, just because he had a job interview or something much less important than a Stanley cup the next day. Don’t do that to Nashville. DON’T BE THAT GUY.


3. If you can’t grow a beard and still try, or can only grow something that makes you resemble a Russian porn star, be aware that you may only be bringing the beard karma down. We're striving for quality over quantity here.

4. If you can’t grow a beard, but one of your good friends can, you are required to try and get him to do it. He must be tough enough to put up with a beard even when it gets hot and also a Preds fan. Jean Sebastian Giguere of the Mighty Ducks hated his beard, but because teammates told him he could grow a "nasty one", he "did it for the team." It is your job to relay this spirit to your friends.

5. If you do grow a beard, you have to let your hair grow too. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. That’s the rule.

6. After a loss, and only after a loss, you are allowed to trim the beard. TRIM DOES NOT MEAN SHAVE! If you are confused about this concept, ask your girlfriend. If you are single, you can also ask the girlfriend of a Blue Jackets fan after you get done slamming her behind his back.

7. After a win, you do nothing to the beard. Nothing. Even if the next playoff series is a week away. DON’T TOUCH IT.

8. The last one was a lie. You should thank it and ask it to continue giving you luck and wisdom through a playoff run. (If you grow a playoff beard, you will become smarter. Or you will appear smarter, one of the two.)

9. If you know someone who grows a beard for another team and that team is eliminated, you must make sure that he A.) shaves the beard and does not just try to hop on another team’s bandwagon and B.) hears comments like "babyface" or "hairless rat" for the remainder of the playoffs. I suggest the latter, because according to a New York paper "hairless rat" was the words a prostitute used to describe a certain part of Sean Avery.

10. If you have a friend or girlfriend who doesn’t like the beard, tell them to Puck off. The Nashville Predators have BY FAR the hottest fan base around. If you lose one girl because of your commitment to a sports team, you will in turn pick up three much hotter girls because of that same commitment.

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Another rule: This one is for the ladies. Although they themselves cannot grow beards (and those that can, please don't), you must do whatever is necessary to aid the menfolk in this task. If your man needs food and beer, get him food and beer. Remember, he's eating for two.

These Rules are extremely important this year, since only like half the Preds team can grow facial hair, its up to the fans to pick up that slack!  I am trying to figure out how we can turn it into a just for fun contest.