Learning to hate the Blackhawks: Marian Ho$$a

In the interest of creating more animosity in whats been a relatively stagnant rivalry thus far, its time for another edition of Learning to hate the Blackhawks! Today's subject is your favorite Slovakian Senator Thrasher Penguin Red Wing Hawk Marian Hossa. 

After the jump, we learn just how far this winger will go for a Cup  money, and how it never pays. 

Marian Hossa

#81 / Right Wing / Chicago Blackhawks

Height: 6-1

Weight: 210

Born: Jan 12, 1979

Why you should hate Mr. Ho$$a

1. He's a mercenary. Consider: 

• He's played with five teams in seven years, getting a raise in each city. 

• He turned down Pittsburgh's offer of 5 years, $7 million to play with Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin...
• ...just to sign with Detroit for 1 year, $7.45 million. 
• Chicago signed him to a 12 year, $62.5 million deal which was at the time a franchise record. 

2. He somehow manages to fall short on every team:

• In his time on Team Slovakia, they have never medaled but finished 4th and 5th at the Olympic Games. 
• In Atlanta's only playoff appearance, they were swept in the first round. 
• He lost in the Cup finals as a Penguin...
• ...only to lose in the next year's finals as a Red Wing - to the Penguins. 

3. As a Red Wing, he once tried to 'fight' Ryan Suter. Only problem? Wardrobe malfunction:

And thats a wrap

So there you have it, folks. What we have here is a money chasing failure who can't keep his clothes on. Hopefully he doesn't mistake the puck for a silver dollar over the next two weeks, or we'll be in trouble. Why else should we hate Marian Hossa, and are there any other Hawks we should profile?