Ilya Bryzgalov here:
You wonder why I am disguised as yucca, da? I will explain momentarily. MouthGuard is afeered you will forget what cchhappen last month with Yetilanche so I gonna refresh your memory a beet. But you are mistaken about Denver! It is beautiful city with many things to hoffers. For examples, last night I went out for deener with MouthGuard and we shared delightful dessert that look like eeny meeny martians from outer space:
We conclude eveningkkks at secret underground former Department of Defense speakeasy with aged rum from tropikal outpost:
We also visit Denver Botanic Garden that closely resembles Bryzgaldome!
But back to yucca. Right now, I am bimboo, as matter of fact:
I heff to be careful, Nurshweel. Very, very careful. Denver is DANGEROUS PLANYETT RIGHT NOW. In fact, Predatorzz have to be careful also!!! This town is full of negatif energies! You don’t know who you can trust! Believe me! I meet with Yetis for secrit interview, but now I am afeered for my life, Nurshweel. You need to know about some things and what to do for tomorrow’s game!!!
Ilya’s Teeps for Yeti Game:
- Your best guys heff to stay out of box, da?
- You heff to try not to choke Duchene by mistake!!! You again, da!
- You heff to pass puck to this guy with bushy Brezhnev eyebrows!!!
- You heff to keep your lead if you get one!!!
- You heff to geev these guys donut! They can't catch break, da?
- New outfeets for Weelson and Stalberg. [New outfeet = 7 wins in row plus shutout once.]
Nurshweel, you heff to be on high alert in Denver! I am so afeered now that I am Mothership Giant Leely Pad:
You heff to make promise to kep big secrit, but I found out that Yetilanche Yemperorzz live here, in Yeti Monster Fortress:
Scary of all, Yetilanche home dressing room has creepi CHAIR JAIL!
With TEAM TORTURE CHAIR SOFA!
Look – ERIC JOHNSON B**BY CHAIR where Yetilanche Regime makes him seeet when he has bad game!
"WELCOME" VIBRATOR SPA CHAIR for Maxime Talbot! (creepi, yes?)
I dunno Nurshweel. New Yetilanche Regime discoveries are creepi and I dunno what to think of them. These guys are number one team in NHCheyl but there is creepi vibe going on here. You heff to be careful, okay?
Good luck tomorrow, and may the force be with you Nurshweel. DON'T BACK DOWN BUT DO NOT SIT DOWN ON OR TALK TO YETILANCHE CHAIRS.
** all photographs of fortresses, oversized sweepers, obscenely oversized meat-eating tropical fauna, obscenely overpriced aged rum, obscenely overpriced hockey players, super creepy chairs, super creepy food and trans-gender friendly garments taken by MouthGuard, in and around gorgeous, spectacular, bustling downtown Denver, CO. so there.