Today's hockey-related News of the Weird and Tragic:

While Dornstreich was working with a referee, a parent ran over to say that the rink attendant was "weaving all over, slurring his words."

By the time that conversation was done, Dornstreich said, the man was already backing the Zamboni onto the ice. And not very well, Dornstreich said.... People have been arrested in Minnesota for driving under the influence on everything from a souped-up motorized recliner to a farm tractor. State law says a DWI can result from driving any kind of a motorized vehicle, pretty much anywhere -- a forklift driver at work, a Bobcat driver plowing city sidewalks, a riding lawn mower in a yard.

Stick tap: Neatorama

"For a few dollars, children and adults will be given a handful of player feed they can drop over the glass—like this—and watch the Predators eat," said general manager David Poile, tossing food on the ice as hungry players glided by, slapping their sticks and drooling. "Don't try to feed them from your hand, though. They may not have many teeth, but the ones they do have are needle-sharp. Also, don't tap on the glass. They'll fight."

Little do the folks at The Onion know that Shea Weber is actually a real-life bearded beast....

Sorry if this has been mentioned before, but the "Design Pekka's Mask" contest is down to the final 5. My buddy Parker made the cut with the last one on the page. Vote for your favorite but I hope you like his enough to vote for it!

Crystal Cunningham, the Nashville Predators Dancer who we told you about a few weeks ago, has now made Round 2 of this competition. The link above takes you to FoxSports.com, where you can vote daily.

If she keeps on going, does this count as the first time in franchise history they've made it to the 3rd round of something?

University of Chicago economist Tobias J. Moskowitz and Sports Illustrated's L. Jon Wertheim offer a scientific analysis of NFL games to challenge the conventional wisdom that "defense wins championships." Their empirical analysis examines only the NFL, but Joshua Cooper woud probably agree that offense and defense should receive equal weight when making predictions -- at least when it comes to making the NHL postseason.

Lock up the Big Three if you want, Mr. Poile -- but at some point you're going to have to pay for some help up front!

Follow the link above for info on summer internship opportunities with the Nashville Predators in Event Services...