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Monday's Dump & Chase: Go Hawks!

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Yes you read that right. Careful analysis of the sentiments help by us here at OTF in conjunction with the recent on ice results clearly indicate that rooting against our culturally appropriating northern rivals just isn't cutting it. As any knowledgeable and scientifically minded sports fan will tell you, this leaves only one reasonable option; root for the team you want to lose. So for the next week and a half every completely bogus penalty call, near magical puck bounce and mind numbing comeback will be met by my happy exclamations of jubilation. Gosh, wouldn't it be just terrible if I jinxed the Hawks by rooting for them?

Just look at the good'ol Midwestern enthusiasm!
Just look at the good'ol Midwestern enthusiasm!
Jon Durr-USA TODAY Sports

Around the Wide Wide World of Hockey

Ducks fans frowned at Smith-Pelly’s smiley tweet | ProHockeyTalk

I'm sure Perry cried.

The unexpected journey of Lightning coach Jon Cooper | Tampa Bay Times

A really cool story.

Familiar faces top list of Hawks’ frontrunners for Conn Smythe honor | The Hockey News

What, no Corey Crawford?

Just how important are prospects in building a Stanley Cup winner? | The Hockey News

The Oilers will keep insisting a lot.

Deal Nash? Talbot? Where the Rangers can go from here | New York Post

But whatever you do, let's not panic or anything.

30 Thoughts: No 'last stand' for Blackhawks - Sportsnet.ca

The D word keeps getting thrown around.

Blackhawks could become modern-day dynasty | Ottawa Sun

There it is again...ugh. I mean go Hawks!

Despite another Game 7 loss, there is plenty of optimism for the Ducks | SI.com

They ain't no Duck Dynasty, that's for sure.

Game 7 between the Ducks and Blackhawks delivered big ratings -Puck Drunk Love

Curious to see how the Final does.

Red Wings' Ken Holland to interview prospects, talk trade, look to sign own players during Scouting Combine | MLive.com

They have to eventually run out of in house players right...RIGHT!?

VIDEO: Anthony Cirelli clinches Memorial Cup for Oshawa Generals with overtime winner | theScore

Undrafted kid with the heroics.

Stamkos vs. Toews: What to look out for in the Stanley Cup final matchup | Ottawa Sun

Wouldn't it just be hysterical if neither of them registers a point?

Feaster says Lightning have many similarities to 2004 Cup champions -The Province

They have the same team name, that's about it.

Report: NHL looks to end practice of teams receiving draft picks for fired employees-Puck Drunk Love

Good.

Garth Brooks cancels Tampa Bay shows amid Stanley Cup Final scheduling conflict | theScore

That's awkward.