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Monday's Dump and Chase: OMG

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On the Morning Goes...
On the coffeemaker drips;
Four more days to go.

What are you doing Australia???
What are you doing Australia???
Mark Kolbe/Getty Images

Around the Wide World of Hockey

Maple Leafs re-sign Jonathan Bernier for two years, $8.3M; avoid arb ruling | Puck Daddy - Yahoo Sports

For all the grief and or love he gets, he's definitely worth being the 24th highest paid goalie in the League. The real issue is why the most valuable NHL team only has the 24th highest paid goalie.

When Stats Suck and Why: Making RMNB Last | RMNB

Excellent long read.

Not at all a good thing.

Are the Blackhawks a dynasty? They couldn’t care less – because they’re not done | The Hockey News

HAHAHAHA....OK I'm going to go cry now...

Hockey Player-Turned-Cop Took Part in Gurdaspur Anti-Terror Op - Hockey News

This is the only hockey related story in the Indian press... so yeah.

Puck Daddy's Summer Series: The Arizona Coyotes from A to Z | Puck Daddy - Yahoo Sports

The team you always wanted to know more about but were too disinterested to ask!

This does in fact qualify as news.

Can Ottawa really be the infidelity capital of Canada? - BBC News

One estimate would suggest that one in every four married people are members. Also, John Candy didn't believe Ottawa was the capital in Canadian Bacon.

Five teams that could fall out of the playoff picture in 2016-ESPN

Someone should really go back and compile these predictions form the last ten summers, and see if they've ever been right.

Brad Keselowski Ran Over His Own Pit Crew | Deadspin

Offered without comment.

Poll: Is Boudreau the right coach to lead Anaheim to a championship? | ProHockeyTalk

QUICK EVERYONE GO AND VOTE, LET'S SKEW THE STATISTICAL OUTCOME *checks calendar...sighs*

Judge orders NHL to turn over injury and concussion data - Article - TSN

This is actually really big news. Just complying could cost the NHL $14 million. Guess we know why they needed that expansion bid cash.

New York Rangers Analysis: Reflecting on the Rangers' Offseason Moves - Blueshirt Banter

Stalberg!

Great NHL Logos of the Past | SI.com

Clean pictures to click through at work!

Lightning’s success starts at the very top, where money isn’t priority No. 1 | The Hockey News

This could be us but you play'n.

Did new Penguins forward Nick Bonino score a hole-in-one in star-spangled pants? | theScore

EXCLUSIVE REPORT. Yes, it truly is August.

PHOTO: Sharks' Matt Nieto transforms into Stormtrooper ... sort of | theScore

Soooooo Awesome!

Cristiano Ronaldo On The Moral Quandaries Of FIFA: "I Don't Give A****" | Screamer/Deadspin

Well, good thing no one in the world looks up to him as a role model or anything.

When I have Fears That I May Cease to Be by John Keats | The Poetry Foundation

Poem of the day! (and a personal favorite)