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Monday's Dump & Chase: Get Up, You Have Work

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That or you can just go back to bed. Honestly, I support you either way.

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Hockey News!

How Duncan Keith went from job-dodger to bionic Blackhawk – and Conn Smythe winner | The Hockey News

Still standing waiting to hear back on my request for him to be tested for Kryptonian blood.

Russo: Unsigned Cooke has fire in the belly - StarTribune.com

Matt, I may not be a doctor, but that sounds like a serious medical emergency.

Curtis Glencross Regrets Hometown Discount | RMNB

Candid, Refreshing and still unemployed.

Poll: Who will be San Jose’s next captain? | ProHockeyTalk

They should have a triumvirate that rotates each period. Except on Tuesdays, where everyone's a captain and they all get little trophies...but thats just one idea.

theScore's NHL expansion concept: Team rankings for the 2017-18 season | theScore

I am legitimately concerned this will set a dangerous precedent of even more useless power rankings.

Weirdest hockey team names - NHL - SI.com

Because Canadiens re apparently very bored.

Senators winger Mark Stone ready to prove he's worth new $10.5M contract | Ottawa Sun

He probably is, unless he isn't. (cue the meme Dan)

Meanwhile at OTF Mobile Command, an alarm sounds which wakes a man sleeping on an air mattress. He quickly recovers from his wine stupor, verifies the source, and pulls the lever.

PHOTOS: Stars fan brings Seguin burger during sled hockey game | theScore

This is here.

Many NHL veterans remain unemployed as camp nears | Detroit Free Press

#FreeCody

Gordon: Blues should shrug off Berglund setback | STLToday.com

Too soon.

EA Sports says Carey Price best goalie in NHL | NHL | Hockey | Sports

#RinneWasRobbed #Again

What Would Happen If The Earth Got Sucked Into A Black Hole? | IFLScience

Oh, by the way its Monday too.