Calle Jarnkrok Practices Emotions

Hockey players trying to make their mark on the game should always be in tune with their emotions.

By Alex Daugherty@AlexDaugherty1 Jan 16, 2017, 2:30pm EST

NHL: Vancouver Canucks at Nashville Predators

Calle Jarnkrok has been practicing emotions recently. And he’s getting really good!

Being a productive two-way forward in the NHL, emotions come with the territory. You need to demonstrate anger towards your opponent and mean it! You need to really bond with your teammates and have them like you! Your excitement and frustration rubs off on others, so you need to make sure your emotions are well practiced.

Here we go, Calle!

Pride

NHL: St. Louis Blues at Nashville Predators

This emotion is important in hockey. If you have just unleashed a sick laser beam of rubber on your hapless opponent, you need to show the crowd you are no one to mess with. You need to point to the heavens, sometimes with your hockey stick, and say “I am the number one... the number one person” and do it with some force, so they can see you mean it.

Here, Calle has all the components of pride in sync. Carter Hutton sees it too. So much pride in you, Calle.

Fondness

NHL: Nashville Predators at Florida Panthers

An underrated emotion, fondness is the key to building a team. You need players that like each other and really care about each other. You need to show your teammates that you care about them often, otherwise they might not know or they might forget.

The key to this emotion is a hug. Hugs are like passes, they only work when both people work together! Usually two arms are best, but if you are still clinging to that hockey stick as a comfort object, one arm is ok too.

Here Calle is practicing fondess with Ryan Johansen, who is a fondness All-Star.

Excitement

Yes, this one is important. You just scored a big goal. You just made a big hit. Show the crowd you liked it! Show your teammates you enjoyed bringing something to the team! The keys to this emotion are smiling really big and displaying emphatic gestures. Raising your hockey stick is a must.

Calle admits he needs to work on this one. Smiling is very difficult when you have work to do. You’ll get it eventually, Calle!

Pity

NHL: Pittsburgh Penguins at Nashville Predators

Sometimes, in the spirit of sportsmanship, it is important to show pity to your opponent. You just beat them senseless into the ice or just deked them them out of their skates... maybe show some compassion? The key to this emotion is to kindly smile to your opponent and say “Hey, you did a good job, too... chin up sport” and then wink.

The only problem Calle has with this emotion is that it doesn’t last long. Calle has little compassion for those who are not Calle.

Friendliness

NHL: Stanley Cup Playoffs-San Jose Sharks at Nashville Predators

In the NHL, it is important to be well liked. You want to be invited to all the cool parties and you want to be the one that everyone wants to be around. All NHLers are cool! Don’t you want to be cool?

The key to this emotion is to look into another person’s eyeballs with your eyeballs, all while holding your head so that it looks friendly and welcoming. You should also speak words like “hello” and “how are you” while also maybe waving or something. You will know if someone is being friendly back if they aren’t punching you.

Here Calle is doing an A+ job at being friendly. Well done, Calle!

Shock

NHL: Nashville Predators at Calgary Flames

This one is tricky. In a lot of ways, shock is an emotion of deceit for Calle, because nothing he ever does is truly shocking to him. He always does exactly what he means to do. The result of a play is exactly what he has determined it will be.

But shock is especially important for getting a penalty call. If you are busy schooling defenders with your moves and they interfere with you, you need to emote with shock. You need to show the world that, while you would normally have skated right on by that dude, he did something illegal to prevent it from happening. The refs almost always fall for it.

The key to shock is to open your eyeballs really big and say “WHAT” really loud. You also should leave your mouth open for a comically long period of time.

Calle is practicing the emotion of shock by pretending that someone just stole the puck from him. Great strategy, Calle!

Amused

NHL: Nashville Predators at Pittsburgh Penguins

Being a funny guy is important... it goes hand in hand with fondness. Again, the more people like you, the better. The hardest part about showing amusement is laughter, which is very difficult to fake.

The key to faking amusement is to breathe rapidly and make some noise when you do it. It’s hard to explain, really, but just try to pretend that you are exhaling smoke or something.

Here Calle is practicing the emotion of amusement with a referee who probably told him he didn’t have nice hair.

Joy

NHL: Nashville Predators at Colorado Avalanche

Joy is the emotion that ties all the others together, which makes it the toughest emotion of all. It is the end and the beginning of all other emotions. If you don’t have joy, you don’t have anything.

The key to this emotion is to flail your arms about, clench your cheek muscles, and smile the biggest smile you’ve ever smiled. Show those teeth! The most important thing is to remember that no one will care or remember what you did, but they will remember how happy you looked while doing it.

Here Calle is practicing joy with his friend James Neal. Neal is the team leader in pride and hate.

Fear

NHL: Preseason-Nashville Predators at Tampa Bay Lightning

We gave up on this one. Fear is something that Calle will never be good at.