James Neal: Boss

That's right. He's the player this team has been needing for a while.

My goodness, I don't even know where to begin. We've spent the whole summer at OtF creating a character based on his press interactions and on-ice tactics here, and we get this blissful James Neal picture Rich Clune tweeted before the season starts.

I'm... guys... I'm real happy about this. It's the best assist Rich Clune has made in a long, long time.

This isn't quite like Cristiano Ronaldo becoming a hockey player, but having this kind of guy on your team is long overdue. What do the Bruins, Kings, and Blackhawks all have in common?

A: This kind of player. The kind of guy who scores goals, flips his hair, and slams a shot of Fireball in public. That's why Vancouver hasn't won anything; you don't win Stanley Cup rings while trying to play the victim all the time. Neal isn't here to play the victim.

It remains to be seen how much of the satirical "Heel James Neal" we see here in Nashville, but "gorgeous man with deadly hands"? Confirmed. Getting your hair feathered and layered before opening night? Heel move.

Is Craig Smith getting his hair done tonight? That's a legit question.