Thursday’s Dump & Chase: Capital Punishment

In which our heroes look to build on their momentum from last night’s victory, the Seattle expansion team (reportedly) gets their name, and the Montreal Canadiens catch the flu.

Nashville Predators News & Notes

Nashville Predators 5, Washington Capitals 4 Recap: Preds Gut Out Win Over Caps | On the Forecheck
This game had everything: Own-goals, blown leads, goals from Yannick Weber and Jarred Tinordi... but most importantly, two points, and the Preds will need to come away with two more tonight in order to keep their slim postseason hopes alive.

Milwaukee Admirals Musings: Ingram’s All-Star Dominance | On The Forecheck
Call. Up. Ingram.

Other Hockey News & Notes

Report: Seattle Kraken believed to be name for NHL Seattle franchise | Russian Machine Never Breaks
YES. Please be true. Please be true. Please be true.

What the NHL can learn from the KHL’s support of women’s hockey | ESPN
Are you paying attention over there, Bettman?

Oliver Bjorkstrand is finally becoming the player he was projected to be | The Hockey News
Oliver Bjorkstrand is on one of the hottest streaks in the NHL right now and is producing at a career-high rate. This is exactly the Bjorkstrand scouts expected when the Blue Jackets selected him in 2013.

Akim Aliu has two points in first games with Czech club HC Litvinov | Sportsnet
Akim Aliu notched a goal and an assist in his first two games with HC Litvinov. The Czech club will need even more production from Aliu over their remaining 12 games if they hope to avoid relegation at the end of the season.

Insider Trading: Winnipeg Jets looking to add a top four defenseman | TSN
Yeah... so is everyone else. Take a number.

Why Martin Brodeur’s wins record is one of the NHL’s unbreakable marks | The Hockey News
It’s been five years since the Hall of Fame netminder called it a career, and the approach to modern goaltending makes it seem increasingly unlikely the NHL will ever see anyone tackle his all-time wins record.

Canadiens hit by flu bug just as return to full health on horizon | Sportsnet
The poor Habs have seen a slew of players suffer from the flu right as they’re going to get Brendan Gallagher, Jonathan Drouin, and Paul Byron back.

Currently 5 players on the Habs’ roster, including our dear old dad Shea Weber, are dealing with flu-like symptoms.

WWE star Xavier Woods on surreal NHL All-Star experience, bar arcades, and wrestling/hockey crossover | ESPN
I was today years old when I learned that WWE star Xavier Woods’ real name is Austin Watson. He’d probably be just as effective on the ice as the other Austin Watson.

That may seem harsh, but I’m feeling sassy today and will not apologize.

Golden Knights hire Steve Spott as assistant coach | Sportsnet
New Vegas Golden Knights head coach Peter DeBoer has recruited one of his former assistants to the desert.

Emilio Estevez to return as Coach Gordon Bombay in Mighty Ducks reboot | Yahoo! Sports
So this is a couple of days old at this point, but I want to know which version of Emilio Estevez is going to appear—the one with eyebrows, or the one without eyebrows.

Now, now, dear readers... you can unfurrow your very real eyebrows, and allow me to enlighten you. Emilio’s eyebrows have been the subject of an internal investigation (spearheaded by me) for quite some time.

Sometimes he makes public appearances, and the brows are apparent.

Nothing odd about that picture, right? Those are perfectly normal eyebrows.

But then there are other instances where his eyebrows have magically vanished from his face without a trace of hair left behind.

Ghastly! Where have they gone? How are they there one moment and gone the next! There is only one realistic and logical explanation for this... There’s a secret fourth Estevez brother (that’s right, Charlie. You can change your last name to Sheen all you want, but you’ll still always be an Estevez) who acts as Emilio’s body double on select public appearances. The proof is in the pudding!

Now I know what you’re thinking. Which one has the eyebrows?  That, my friends, is still one of life’s greatest mysteries. But I know what I’ll be watching when this Disney+ series drops. You may be looking for Charlie Conway, or the return of the Bash Brothers, but me? Well, I’ll be examining those eyebrows, and I’ll be taking notes.

Have a great Thursday, everyone. Try not to take this game called hockey (or yourselves for that matter) too seriously. Because I certainly don’t.