Unfortunately, OTF doesn’t have the resources to perform investigative reports of this nature, so if we want to rock your world by tearing apart some of the truths you held to be true about the Nashville Predators, well… we just have to make some things up:
- Mike Fisher isn’t actually married to Carrie Underwood, he’s just a celebrity stalker, in more ways than one.
- Pekka Rinne does not, in fact, have a twin sister. He does, however, bear the distinction of being Finland’s tallest drag queen.
- You don’t like the way Martin Erat circles around in the offensive zone? It’s not savvy puck-protection skills at work, he’s actually battling a rare human strain of circling disease. See? Jimmy Devellano was right…
- David Legwand is not the Preds’ 1st-ever draft pick, because… I mean, come on, it’s David Poile we’re talking about here. It had to be a defenseman or goalie, right?
- Chris Mason did not spend the last year playing hockey in Winnipeg (as if they have the NHL in Manitoba, get real), he was actually launching his film career with the role of Dwalin in The Hobbit.
So there you have it, I’m sorry to break this sort of news to you, Preds fans, but someone has to do it.